get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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