i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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