yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Randomize
