Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
She's JV to your varsity
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
