Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
