Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
it was like eating out sand paper
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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