dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
