I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
farters have to be the big spoon...
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
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