u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
