STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
