I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
