I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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