We're facebook friends in real life
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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