I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
