you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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