so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
