My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
