You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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