I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
