Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"

(1-608): View more from Wisconsin

I like taco bell too

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(404): View more from Georgia

Ben's a prick.

(1-404): View more from Georgia

What Ben are you talking about?

(404): View more from Georgia

All the bens across all the lands

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(925): View more from California

If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.

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(425): View more from Washington

please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"

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(716): View more from New York

If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.

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