The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
