You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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