i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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