Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
