why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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