i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
