what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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