I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
