we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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