11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
