There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
