Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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