this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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