I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
