We're like a lot better than the average bears
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
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