so that wasnt chicken after all
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
