Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
