Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
