I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
