It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Randomize
