Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
