She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
