Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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