Midget sex pt 2 tonight
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
