it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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