He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
