If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
