Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
