i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
My vagina is very pro this idea
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
