Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
