that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
