Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
