I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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