youre lurking in front of me
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
