Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
